The battle of Hastings:
Dr Vander what is the purpose of your visit?
Well, I've been asked by the secretary of state to come here.
Have you come here to ask the secretary of state for a firm date for the act of independence?
I can't tell you that.
When do you hope to get independence?
I can't tell you that.
Dr Vander, when you get independence are you determined as ever to break away from the central African federation?
Need you ask me that question at this stage?
Well this stage is as good as any other stage. Why do you ask me why I shouldn't ask you this question at this stage.
I haven't I said that enough for everyone to be convinced that I mean just that.
Then if you break with the Central African federation. How will you make out economically, your country isn't really a rich country.
I'm not asking that, leave that to me.
In which way is your mind working?
Which way? I won't tell you that.
Where do you hope to get economic aid from?
I won't tell you that
Are you going to tell me anything?
Nothing
Are you going to tell me why you've been to Portugal?
That's my business
In fact you're going to tell me nothing at all.
Nothing at all
So it's a seemingly fruitless interview?
Well, it's up to you
Thank you very much.
Dog on the line:
Mr Roach, you've been quoted as saying: The Israelis told you the device was used to scramble Ugandan radar, is that in fact true?
Well it is because I don't know (muffled sound and dogs barking)
Can you immobilise your dog?
Just let me get you a quote from the papers, just a minute
Dog barking
Hello
Hello, yeah
I'm sorry, someone rapped at the door and my dog here, and by the way I am under police protection because we had some great.., let me see now, recently Israel had, particularly brigadier general Dan Shirun led the raid on turkey, so the muffled talking
Is your dog feeling a little happier now?
Let me see if I can quieten that down, just a second
Pips on the line:
News just in, workers of the CAV car components factory at Sudbury in Suffolk, have been meeting this morning to consider a call for the dismissal of Mr James Goad, whose dispute with the engineering union is currently before the industrial relations court. We're going over now to Michael at the factory.
The mass meeting voted overwhelmingly a few minutes ago that Mr Goad should be dismissed, Mr Dutton told the workers that there jobs could be in jeopardy if Mr Goad was allowed to continue at the factory..
Beep, beep, beep
Michael Cole
Confused of Tunbridge Wells:
Well now Mr Crunwell, you tell me about Tunbridge Wells
I don't know anything about this Tunbridge Wells
But you've lived here, I believe since you were 18
That's right
And has it changed much in all that time?
Yes, there's a lot of changes
What's the biggest change do you think?
A lot of building is all I know about it, about Tunbridge Wells, I live it like a friend of mine, a great friend of mine Tunbridge Wells man, got plenty of money, I've got very little. He's talking about no slums in Tunbridge Wells, I said you take a walk with me I can show you some slums. I said you lived in Tunbridge all your life and you don't know nothing about Tunbridge Wells I said, all you know about is where you live and your business, that's all you know, you don't know nothing about the poor people, you don't know nothing about them at all.
What did he say to that?
Well he couldn't say anything, because he didn't know. I said you'd never know what it was like to live in the slum, where there's 4 or 5 or 6 living in a 6-room house.
What's the nicest thing about Tunbridge Wells?
What, what?
What's the nicest thing about Tunbridge Wells?
I don't know
Don't you know anything about it?
No
Nothing at all?
No I know nothing about Tunbridge Wells
Well it must be a healthy place
Oh it's a healthy place because you can go back to the 15th or 16th Century can't you?
Yes..
But you don't know that
Oh yes I knew that, but it must be healthy for you to be looking so wonderful at this age
Why shouldn't I look wonderful?
Well that of course comes from the inner spirit
Inner spirit?
From your own spirit
I don't know what you want me to say, if I can say anything to please you I will but
What you're saying delights me. I want you to tell me something about living in Tunbridge Wells
Well I can't tell you, I live in Tunbridge Wells that's all I know about it
Have you ever taken the waters here?
Yes lots
What do you think about the waters?
I don't think much of it Tunbridge Wells water it's you drink a lot of it, it's well you'd soon be sick of it if you kept drinking it.
But don't you think it has a good effect on people?
Pardon?
But don't you think it has a good effect on people?
No I don't
You think it's just imagination?
I think you might as well go and drink out of any other spring water as Tunbridge Wells, it's got a name, there's a lot in a name you know. See you can boast about something, people believe it and you can publish it as well.
You think it's all advertisement? You think it's all advertisement?
That's it, that's it, Tunbridge Wells's mineral water, you may as well drink any other water
Can you tell me anything about the pan tiles?
No, I don't know anything about the pan tiles. It's the pan tiles that's all I know about it.
And can you tell me anything about changes in transport here, I suppose once upon a time there were horses but now there are motor cars?
No I can't tell you anything about that.
You don't remember that?
Well I'd say I could remember but I didn't ever have any business in it to remember, when you've got some money in it
Can you tell us about your birthday party at the Cothic club?
Next January I'll be 103
You'll be 103 next January?
Yes
And who's coming to the party?
Who's coming to the party?
I don't know, well you can come, you can pay us all an obituary and treat us all to a coffee
That's an invitation . So 1st January you'll be 103?
We should be able to supply you with some coffee
What do you do at your birthday party?
What do I do?
What happens, do you have all your old friends or
I don't have anything; it's a birthday that's all I know about it I have a birthday
Mr Crunwell, would you just to finish off tell us your full name and how old you are now?
My true name?
Your full name
My full name - Alfred Crunwell
And how old are you?
Born in 1851, 1st January.
You can work that out yourself can't you?