Print
The vox pop vault: Interview by Ian Peacock.
I ain't showing off.
Ian: Are you not very good at showing off?
I ain't showing off.
He's good at showing off
Ian: Is he?
Aren't you?
No I don't bother.
Speak to him, go on.
Come on speak to him.
Leave me out.
Ian: Aren't you good at showing off?
No
I just don't want to be recognised.
I'm only human.
Ian: Yes we're all only human so why are you being so modest?
It's my nature to be a bit more reticent than most people.
Ian: You're very good at being reticent then?
Yes
Play the bagpipes, Scottish music.
Ian: Would you say you're excellent at the bagpipes?
Oh I'm not Scotch.
Ian: Are you very good at the bagpipes though?
No
I'm not a bad cook
Ian: You're a good cook?
Well
Ian: Are you a good cook, or just not a bad cook?
Not a bad cook brought 5 children up so I must be a good cook really.
Ian: So you are a good cook?
I suppose I am yes.
Ian: Are you an excellent cook?
No
I've been a champion dancer and we won every championship there was.
I've got pictures of me all over the place in the flat, I keep my own flat completely clean by myself. All my housework is done by me.
Thank you anyway.
Hello my name is Lee and I support Tottenham and they're the best because I support them.
I'm really good at drawing, I'm just the best at that I love it.
Ian: You're the best?
Yeah
Ian: Better than Michael Angelo?
Yeah, and I'm better at football than anyone. Got the best trainers in the world but I haven't got them on at the moment because they're too good.
Music
I'm just the best and I've got the best everything
I'm the man, I'm the man, I'm the best at everything, I've got more woman than you've ever seen.
Ian: Are you talking about several million?
Several billion is more like it, know what I mean, woman flock to me like flies. They call me cupid at work right?
The only woman he can get is his mum, know what I'm saying.
I'm handsome and tall, watch it I'm gonna be bick.
Starts rapping
Ian: Is rapping about showing off?
Yeah rap is about showing off, telling everyone what you've got.
I love showing off.
It's only a good thing to show off if you've got something to show off about
It's good to show off cuz it means we got a life
Ian: What do you think about modest people?
There boring coz they don't believe in themselves, you know what I mean
Man: Betty Grable actually
is my favourite 'cause she's glam, brash.
Man: Well I suppose early on it was David Bowie. Just the way he re-invents
himself which a lot of gay men do all the time anyway, and it's all about image
and moving on.
Man: Diana Dors.
Ian: Why?
Man: Because she really suffered, right. She was really famous, she had loads
of opportunities. She was stereo-typed like a blonde, kind of like, bimbo. And
she was actually an actress throughout it all, you know, and she had a fair
old share of men who treated her badly. I just love her to bits.
Man: Diana Ross and Joan Collins.
Ian: Why?
Man: Why? Because they're so glamorous and tacky at the same time.
Ian: But why should they be gay heroines 'cause they're glamorous and tacky?
Man: And Barbara Cartland.
Ian: Why are there no men in your list?
Man: Brad Pitt. Yeah, but then you don't look at them as icons, you just fancy
them.
Man: Madonna.
Man: Everybody says Madonna I suppose. Like she's the big icon of our time,
especially for gay people. Just goes she's sort of, you know, gone from being
nobody to being somebody very, very famous and very rich and I think it's what
every gay guy wants to do.
Man: Wonderwoman
Man: Dolph Lundgren and the other one is Claude Van Damme. All the guys with
gorgeous bodies and fabulous smiles.
Ian: Of course the cliche one is Judy Garland. Is that true or is that just
a complete myth?
Man: I guess she's the older generation's Madonna, maybe. I don't know but I
don't really know anything about her, all I know is she was some child actress
who did a few things and then popped her clogs.
Woman: I mean I don't know
that you can actually say nosey. I mean is that people are just interested in
their environment and what they live in?
Ian: If you don't mind me asking why have you bought so many potatoes, you seem
to have an enormous number there?
Woman: I've only bought my week's supply of potatoes so mind your own business!
Man: You should be nosey. If they don't have curtains at the window well you
can't help looking across and seeing what's happening, can you?
Woman: I don't mix up with nobody. I keep myself to myself.
Woman: When I think that my friend's telling me lies I ask questions you know
over and over and over again until I get the truth.
Man: It's a good thing, nosey, I mean for Neighbourhood Watch, which I'm the
co-ordinator of.
Ian: Would you say that Neighbourhood Watch is about being nosey, as simple
as that?
Man: Neighbourhood Watch is a police service, isn't it?
Ian: Is this baby yours?
Man: Yes, grandchild, in it?
Woman: I sort of keep to myself really, unless I hear some disturbance then
I might go and have a look, you know. Like I did last week when there was two
of my neighbours quarrelling. Two women they were absolutely going head.. pulling
each other's hair and all that sort of thing.
Ian: How do you know they were pulling each other's hair?
Woman: I was there, you know. I went to see what the commotion was about.
Ian: Did you break them up or did you just watch?
Woman: I didn't do anything about it.
Woman: People are so lonely, they've got nothing to do, so they sort of stare
out of the window through binoculars.
Ian: So you actually have heard stories of people with binoculars?
Woman: Yes, I have.
Ian: Telescopes?
Woman: No, never telescopes.
Ian: Always binoculars.
Woman: Yes
Ian: Why are you wearing a rabbit brooch? Do you like rabbits in particular?
Woman: Yes I do. I collect them. My nickname used to be Bunny.
Ian: What's in your bag there, is it ....?
Grapes.
Ian: Are they for you or for somebody else?
Woman: Me. I'm a diabetic.
Ian: Do you have to inject yourself?
Woman: I'm going to the hospital next week and I'm having insulin, you know,
teaching me how to give myself injections.
Ian: I'm being a bit nosey now, aren't I?
Woman: You are.
Man: Yo non entiendo, yo non entiendo mucho.
Ian: Are you Italian?
Man: No, Español.
Ian: You're Spanish, are you? Where are you from in Spain?
Man: The south.
Ian: Do you speak English?
Man: No, no, canno, no.
Ian: Are people in Spain very nosey?
Woman: Yes
Ian: The odd thing is you seem to be able to speak English but you were claiming
you could only speak Spanish..
Man: No reserva, no ...
Man: I think one of the sad things in this country is people keep to themselves.
Is not always bad to be nosey. This is why we come to a society where there
are lots of crimes, lots of loneliness, lots of people who don't get married,
they want to live on their own, and so on..
Girls ask interviewer: How much do you earn a year?
Ian: Ah. (girls giggle)
Girl: Do you have a girlfriend?
Ian: No.
Girl: You don't have a girlfriend, why's that?
Ian: I'm not telling.
Girl: You're not telling. There must be a reason why you don't have a girlfriend,
a nice looking guy like yourself. (girls all giggle)
Ian: You obviously really enjoy being nosey.
Man: I was thinking about
how can I avoid this person with a microphone.
I was thinking about why I hate The Beatles.
Man: I was thinking about getting back to where we're working.
Woman: In my mind I was thinking what I'm going to buy in Boots.
Woman: I was laughing because she just fell.
Ian: And what were you thinking about?
Woman: That she always falls.
Man: I've just seen a pair of orange trousers and I thought well I don't think
I'd ever wear those, ever in my life, unless I was paid a lot of money to. I
was thinking "Hello, there's a pair of orange trousers" and naturally
I was thinking "How can I avoid them?"
Woman: Nothing at the moment.
Ian: Your mind is a complete blank.
Woman: It is at the moment, yes.
Ian: What about the last few hours? Have you had any thoughts in the last few
hours?
Woman: Just where we're going to go.
Man: Where am I going? Do I go to the tube or do I go to the building society.
Man: What's going to happen next, really, but I don't know.
Man: Don't know, where I'm going next, what I'm going to do in life, all that
sort of thing.
Just split up after fourteen years, two kids.
Ian: So that's been occupying your mind in the last few seconds as you walk
down the street?
Man: Yes, few seconds, last five months. I think about it maybe half of the
day, maybe, it's obviously coming maybe eight hours out of twenty-four.
Child: Hello
Ian: What are you thinking now?
Child: Cars and trains, hanimal.
Ian: So cars, trains, animals, that's a funny thing to have in your head, isn't
it?
Child: Yeah.
Man: Hari Krishna, hari Krishna, Krishna, Krishna, hari, hari, hari Rama, hari
Rama, Rama, Rama, hari, hari. Words that free your mind. You're not thinking
but you're aware of the mantra.
Woman: I've given up thinking. I've done it, been there. Now I'm at rest, at
peace, so I don't have to think. I used to drive myself crazy thinking, but
not any more.